have you listened to “baby you were there” by tv girl? you should.
it’s loopy, groovy and immediately starts playing in my head when relationships sour. initially I understood the lyrics’ meaning as, “we got close to being in love but in the end something just wasn’t right. some inexplicable force caused the fledgling relationship to fail.” but since listening again recently (and watching its music video) i understand it’s actually about picking a lover at random and settling.
i prefer my dashed-dreams interpretation.
either way- my disappointment version or the relationship-because-it’s-comfortable one- the song serves as a dating anthem of our time, and it’s recent, although the instrumentals sound like the stuff of 60’s lounge music.
and now for the long-awaited tie in to my life: on a really recent thursday morning i sent my number to a guy (at his request) whom i’d been emailing and said “you can catch me after 8 p.m.,” which is my way of saying “you’d better call, not text, motherf*cker.” but thursday night came and went without contact. i dutifully wrote him off.
and yet. the next afternoon he asked me out via text (abhorrent!) and i stupidly enabled by accepting but also asked if we could talk on the phone first. instead of replying, “sure, i’ll call you tomorrow” he didn’t respond. at which point i figured he wasn’t interested in using his texting device as a phone and wrote him off again.
was I pissed? not at all. i am picking off one wrong guy at a time. and it’s going to take precisely as long as it takes. by eliminating himself before we even met, this guy gave me the fantastic gifts of time and clarity. i didn’t have to get dressed up or blow-dry my hair to learn he’s a bad communicator/freakin’ weird/both of the above. he did all the work for me without even realizing it.
i was so gleeful about it, so thrilled at the prospect of dodging this bullet of stupidity i smiled through Friday afternoon traffic and caught myself humming "baby you were there." i was as happy about not having this date as most people are about having one.
baby, you were there.