a comforting thought about spending money
while in new york i stopped at a florist’s for a bouquet to bring to a dinner party. it was an old-school shop with wood paneling and a musty interior. once i adjusted to such a non-L.A. space, i noticed there weren’t any pre-arranged batches and began staring at the flowers enclosed in the refrigerated glass case until the owner let me inside the chilly walk-in.
channeling my repressed inner stylist, i directed the man, picking flower after flower. it was fun. i felt capable. all was well. eventually i’d included all the types i liked and prepared to pay.
when he told me the total, my jaw nearly hit the floor. i felt like a cartoon character, thinking, “whaaaa? how much?”
i wanted to freeze time so i could go back and chose one of the small, sensible houseplants. or say, here’s my budget, what can we do? without sounding cheap and horrible.
but it was too late. so i stayed quiet and sweated out the stress of my miscalculation as he added leafy filler and plumped the batch, making it even more spectacular.
then i felt my panic subside as i told myself, i have enough. i can afford this. it’ll come back to me. and remembered a quote, “The trick with spending money, Julia, lies in knowing, with every fiber of your being, that it will return. And so it must.”
i signed up for the Notes last fall and they quickly became my favorite opt-in emails. they’re messages friends and loved ones would send each another if they weren’t so unabashedly optimistic. their enthusiasm is almost embarrassing.
but since they’re from the universe, and the universe is deaf to our claims of, i actually suck. i don’t deserve praise, we’re forced to accept its compliments and encouragement. how refreshing. maybe we’ll even start believing them.
you can sign up here, and when you do, include a goal you’re working toward and definitely use your real name, since the messages often directly address you and your ambition. if it sounds outlandish but appealing, remember: no one has to know you subscribe.
naturally, the “cost” of the flowers returned to me. i had a blast creating the bouquet, was pleased with my selection, and felt their satisfying weight in my arms as i walked to the couples’ apartment. of course their gratitude, surprise, and enjoyment upon seeing the flowers made the expense worthwhile. and i have no doubt i’ll earn back the money, too.
what’s your relationship with money? do you believe it comes back or are you anxious about it?
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