Be the cat, not the table.Read More
a guy who broke up with me a few months ago texted recently. we chatted a little and he asked if we could meet. i was trying to be open and, you know, the kind of person who runs a site with “karma” in the name, even though he ended the relationship on a grouchy note and i owe him nothing...Read More
“fuck,” “i’m really sorry to hear that” and (twice), “thank you for letting me know.” that's all i remember saying when the guy i was dating called to break up with me.
yes. i am a professional.
due to my stellar phone etiquette, i wrote him later to ask some questions and explain my perspective. predictably, as soon as i pressed “send,” i felt like a lame, desperate idiot.Read More
i recently received an amazing email from a guy online. first, he’s looking for women between
the ages of 18 and 97. the site
goes to age 100+, so why not go for the gold? suddenly women turn 98 and they no longer appeal? or maybe an 80-year search range feels
too wide and greedy but a humble 79-year span does nicely?
he’s also looking for a woman who “don’t fallow trends”—that’s great news, as i limit myself to the farming ones.
after laughing out loud to myself i settled in to read his one sentence message.
it began, “I know you get a lot of massages…” factually accurate to the point i wondered whether he’s running surveillance. but one can never get enough of them, am I right?
“but your file is interesting.” again the covert ops red flag. what the hell kind of file? the dossier the NSA’s building on me? the file folders on my desk at work? or could “file” be the time-saving alternative to “profile”? because let’s face it—he’s got a lot of women to get through.