late last year i was supposed to go out with a guy on a Wednesday. ideally he’d send a confirmation text the day before about the time and especially the place, (the whole outfit revolves around locale) but i forgot to mention this desire and let it slide.
Tuesday came and went, which was not ideal but the situation was salvageable. suddenly it was Wednesday morning, when i still didn’t hear a peep. at that point our fate was clear- he forgot about me or lost interest and thus i never had to go out with him.
unlike other women, i refuse to walk the path of complex “what ifs.” “what if he saw a stray dog on his way to work, tried to take it to the vet but it was closed, and carted the poor pup around with him all day? now he’s considering keeping the dog and is overwhelmed by naming options.”
just, no. i’m not participating. the simplest explanation is usually the right one, especially when it comes to men.
around noon on Thursday he wrote—“julia!!! how’s your night looking tonight?”
am i a horrible person for wanting to reply, “it’s looking like it’s no longer Wednesday”?
i didn’t want to engage in a texting battle over who should’ve done what so i ignored him. but he persisted. finally he asked if he’d done something to offend and i reminded him about our plans, which he admitted he’d forgotten.
you FORGOT? this was theoretically a chance to get laid, to continue the species, and it slipped your mind? how has your defective DNA survived this long? Darwin would strangle you with his bare hands.
while incredulous, i was the opposite of offended. this little knucklehead’s honesty was a blessing. he saved me so much time! i saw who he was—a guy who’s so excited about meeting me he forgets to arrange a date—and wanted no part of it.
he went on, “i need to use the calendar app more. is there anything i can do to make it up to you?”
to which i replied, “i don’t think so. i want someone who already uses the calendar app.”
now, am i a dating hardass? probably. but i also have enormous clarity thanks to setting personal boundaries. they make life so much easier and fluid, in all situations. decide how you want to be treated and uphold those standards while staying polite. boundaries. get some.