i’ve been thinking about how differently we respond to change based on its source.
when you need to buy a new car all you can think of is how much it’ll cost. when you’re treating yourself to one (not recommended) you’re obsessed with spoilers and spinning hubcaps.
here's the thing...
we’re territorial about the origins of change.
it’s almost a point of pride. but what if you got rid of the ego aspect and said, my decision, external decision, no difference?
i’m not there yet, either. here’s how i react to unplanned changes: shock, anger, despair, confusion, brooding, rationalizing, and acceptance—all with lots of tears shed along the way.
inevitably, i look back and see how right the change was, how educational, useful, and positive. in fact, those perks are usually in proportion to how terrible it felt at the time.
part of the issue is how sure we are that changes we’ve arranged are good. no way this unnecessary new car will bankrupt me. and by contrast, how shadowy and suspicious the forced ones are. you're sure this thing will explode if i keep driving it?
but the fact is we don’t know how either will turn out. the best we can do is keep moving forward. still, i want to be just as cool with things that happen to me as i am with those i arranged.
how do you reach that state of acceptance? i don’t know yet. join me on the journey.
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